by Jennifer Wolkin

Fear of loss           is a neural pathway full of             trigger    

warnings laid down    to rest       after a                 first loss,

then fires         again &                        again

after each successive              loss, then fires                again

when no active loss                 is         looming

except that       now loss          always          looms

like bubbles     in an otherwise smooth                       syringe           

loss looms,      large,            even        while watching

the ocean meet the sky           as if,    to allude    the horizon

never   ends,         as if,   to allude       no one   ever      ends,           

a first loss    begets learning    loss exists,   learning loss

exists               begets fearing it                   begets  taking     

vital                 measures to perceive          control of

its timing              begets  sitting right                     in its eye            

instead of            being           hurricaned       with the   cruel

load of               having  to lose   with       no warning                       

with no provision            for the pain, for    the grief     

for the grief that grows,          for the grief          loss knows. 

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Jennifer Wolkin is a health/neuro psychologist, speaker, writer, and mental health advocate. She is currently pursuing her MFA in creative writing and literary translation at Queens College. Her poetry is published/forthcoming in multiple publications. Jen is most passionate about writing at the intersection where the mind, body, brain, and spirit meet—about the holistic human experience—through the eyes of both her own experience, and through her professional lens.