All in by Rachel Neve-Midbar

by Rachel Neve-Midbar


Crooked teeth, chipmunk cheeks, all ears—your mind
is the mirror, and the mirror is the
gap you can step into, a place to hide—

Gary Nadir beneath you on the slide.
He lifts your skirt: your panties on display
as you fall through the breach, a cave of shame—

Morning toast confined in your mouth all day
[so you don’t have to swallow what you hate]

Gary Nadir stretched underneath your swing,
under your desk, behind you on the slide—
Gary Nadir follows you through the school gate—

He lifts your skirt, your panties on display.
The nurse says lice, lines wrong in the school play—
you fall through—you fall through, you fall through 

a catalog of shames—

You beg your mother to wear slacks to school.
Gary N.’s rage when he raises your skirt
to uncover the shorts you snuck from home.

At recess you bolt through the trees 
that surround the playground. He’s after you,
ultimately shoves you to the ground—

On your back in the pine nettles, he rips 
away your shorts, even your panties with 
surprising ease— and he sees, and he sees, 

and he sees—

______________________________________________________________________

Rachel Neve-Midbar is a poet and essayist. Her first full-length poetry collection, Salaam of Birds (Tebot Bach 2020) was chosen by Dorothy Barresi for the Patricia Bibby First Book Prize. She is also the author of the 2014 chapbook, What the Light Reveals. Her work has appeared in Blackbird, The Georgia Review, and Grist as well as other journals and anthologies. Rachel is a current PhD candidate at The University of Southern California.

by Rachel Neve-Midbar

I waited every night for you, spread my blood across the bed like a blanket.
Finally you arrived streaming in through the roof—a golden rain of many
leaves. When my maid caught you, you were gilt, so thin you melted on the
tongue, dissolved if wet. When you fell on me your leaves became blood, my
pillow blood, my blanket blood, the blood that ran both in & out from between
my thighs. I feel your hand slow & rough along the soft line from arm to
breast, my open mouth. Gold leaves light my hair, the lush smell of life rises
like a cry into the room.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rachel Neve-Midbar’s collection, Salaam of Birds (Tebot Bach, December 2019), won the 2018 Patricia Bibby First Book Award. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in Blackbird, Prairie Schooner, and Georgia Review as well as other publications and anthologies. Rachel’s awards include the Crab Orchard Review Richard Peterson Prize, the Passenger Poetry Prize and nominations for The Pushcart Prize. Rachel is currently a doctoral candidate at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles. See more at rachelnevemidbar.com.