Self-Portrait as so Much Starting Over

After Chen Chen


Learning the light
switches is the first
trick—each time

I palm the wall
by accident I stay
longer in the dark.

Then, where to put
the spoons and
where to put

my heart? Not
the highest shelf
in the closet,

not among
shoes shucked
by the front door.

Not below
my tongue—
that old home

its outgrown.
Not pressed
in the pages

of a novel—
never again
in her hands.

I throw it
to the cat who
tosses it

between
her paws
and teeth,

another toy
she mistakes
for meat.

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Amie Whittemore (she/her) is the author of the poetry collections Glass Harvest (Autumn House Press), Star-tent: A Triptych (Tolsun Books) and Nest of Matches (Autumn House Press, 2024). She was the 2020-2021 Poet Laureate of Murfreesboro, Tennessee, and an Academy of American Poets Laureate Fellow. She teaches creative writing at Eastern Illinois University and directs MTSU Write, a from-home creative writing mentorship program.