On our 17th wedding anniversary, we consider divorce

There is coyote-song after the smoke alarms
wake us at 4am screaming fire where
there is none—

when did the shape of us become
fight or flight &

how many notes have I stuck to the mirror
asking when will this get easier ?

Everything is thirsting.

I hang sheets to dry in the strong rivers of air,
pick a wine labeled Pessimist

for a funeral of sliced apples and cheddar
on the back porch—maybe the heat

index has broken longing,

maybe I will take to my bed,
or splash Tarot cards along the tile floor

to divine a future that looks nothing
like today where you & I are touching

almost—the longest day of our marriage,

a record we’ve rewritten
a thousand times against argument.

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Megan Merchant (she/her) is the owner of the editing, manuscript consultation, and mentoring business Shiversong and the author of four full-length collections. The latest, Before the Fevered Snow, was released at the start of the pandemic by Stillhouse Press. She is the editor of the literary journal Pirene’s Fountain. You can find her work at meganmerchant.wix.com/poet.