The Thoughts of One Ophelia

by Christine Butterworth-McDermott

Oh, my Grace. On Sundays,
you rule this, 
you make me 
rue all I have done.

Midwife, supply me rue
a way out of this
supply me feverfew

supply me licorice
bittersweet 
thick blood come

Oh, my Grace,
you make me 
rue all I have done, 

falling knee
down before you, false
god of Gods. Me on
knees and blushing up

Rule of Sundays
How you distort grace

and beget me
this rude awakening
at the Midwife’s roost

God of Gods, you unmake me
every day I have been on 
my knees and praying

blushing up, waiting
for some rogue awakening

And the Midwife gives me
supply of rue
for some bright flow
some red stain
against this whitening

If I had not looked
up to him as a god 
for Gods, I would not 

have gone down
knee to the ground

in supplication
how I rue letting him

rule my heart
false god of Gods
and I pray

supply me rue
a way out of this
supply me feverfew
supply me licorice
bittersweet 

Oh, thick blood come,
please oh miracle
oh God,
undo, undone

---

Christine Butterworth-McDermott’s poetry has appeared in Alaska Quarterly Review, The Massachusetts Review, The Normal School, River Styx, and Southeast Review, among others. She is the author of a chapbook, Tales on Tales: Sestinas (2010) and the full-length collection, Woods & Water, Wolves & Women (2012) and the founder and co-editor of Gingerbread House Literary Magazine. Her second full-length collection, Evelyn As (Fomite) and a chapbook, All Breathing Heartbreak (Dancing Girl Press) were recently published in 2019.