ellipses

somebody told me
my mother tongue is ellipses
that I don’t use words for breathing
let silence into everything
I take my lover’s head in my hands
forgive me I don’t know how
not to be broken
you think I mean as a partner
and I do but I swear I mean more
I mean my dna is laced with exile
I mean my family carries a dead language
I mean conversion was inevitable
and when I tell you all this
I really mean I am a stranger
my lover takes me by the throat
grip tightening whispering gently
I love you but you’ve got to grow up
I’m in my thirties all I’ve learned is
time is a dirty word
it gets thrown at me like a warning
but the future is terrifying
and the past is embarrassing
and I think I’ll stay right here
I’ve got work to do
I’m revising a piece I wrote on shame
but I don’t know where to start

Reviewer 1

There are no theoretical coordinates and no theoretical framework to justify any of these claims

Reviewer 2

This is a really interesting paper that is beautifully written and easy to follow

What?

you say teach you something in Ladino
before you can finish I say mi das scarinyo
you hold out your hands
I pull a whole ocean through my teeth to greet you
your language is different than mine 
just because our mouths can find each other
doesn't mean they understand
I am made of faultlines
of forgiveness and quiet
and silence is not easy to love
mi das scarinyo
I adore your wanting
but I know you just miss someone else
we all miss someone else
my dear have I told you
you remind me of the desert at night

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Erin Mizrahi is a poet, scholar, and educator. She received her PhD in Comparative Studies in Literature and Culture at the University of Southern California. She is currently an adjunct assistant professor of English at Hunter College where she teaches first-year writing. She is an Asylum Arts and Institute for Jewish Creativity Fellow. Erin is also the host of Cobra Milk, a Brooklyn-based monthly reading and music series featuring emerging and established voices.