1
Sex is in the brain; I’ve been training
mine for so long. Please don’t fail me now.
2
The sutures move,
pull loose and tight,
each stitch a closet
in the garment, a room
within a room.
3
Doctors make you beg
for the comfort of your own body.
They tell me my vagina has integrity
neither foreshortened
nor shallow, its walls intact.
As apparatus goes, there’s nothing
I lack. What their excises have decreed
let no woman question.
4
Ordinary motion presses
against the scar, life
a big toe stretching
and pulling the darn.
My stomach puckers,
pantyhose skin center-
seamed. By reflex, I reach
to take it off and realize
I’m already naked, belly
button to pubic bone.
5
Fifteen to thirty minutes
of visualizing—face under a pillow,
seam-side down, my partner rubbing
rubbing—and still
I catch no charge.
6
After so much probing,
mental inquiry:
If I am the sock monkey,
who’s my puppeteer?
7
When I finally orgasm, I think
I’ve escaped, and my body lifts
a finger.
